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Jhaad 25 May 2021: Redefining Championing your child

 As a teacher, I have often given my kids what I did not get. I did not get unconditional love and support as a child - and so, I try my might to give kids unconditional love and support. But... BUT... because the child inside me still craves it, I end up giving too much unconditional love and support to my students. 

My students, who absolutely love me for being 'with them', know that I am there for them - that I will listen, and understand, and be 'there for them'.

But unconditional love and support is just one side of CHAMPIONING your students. 

The other side, which I had completely ignored till I got a dressing down from my school's director, is to be firm with them - is to expect high quality work. 

See. The problem I often face with my students are:

1. Delay in submitting homework and assignments. 

2. Not giving their very best in the very first attempt. 

3. Then requesting me to submit a redo, on the promise of the revision being better than the previous version. 

4. Them not being in the 'mood' or 'frame of mind' to study - to not be cognitively alert. 

So far, I have circumvented or resolved the aforementioned issues by:

1. Showing them how much harder I work - so they have no reason to cut corners - to lead by example.

2. ALLOWING them second, and third, and fourth chances. 

3. Leveraging my relationship with my students to get them to be cognitively alert. 

But in all fairness, I focused so much on giving unconditional love and support - that I forgot the other side of my role as a Champion. I completely missed out on: 

1. Letting my firmness show my unwavering belief in my students. 

2. Having high expectations from them.

3. Celebrating smaller moments when they live up to their own ability of doing high quality work. 

4. Exercising my positional authority as a teacher. I am their teacher - and I have the authority to have them work harder, smarter, and see them as more capable individuals by virtue of the work they do. 

5. For them to feel the resourcefulness to do better - work harder - stand taller for themselves. For them to demand high quality work because they are capable of doing high quality work. 

My school's director, who I adore for being everything she is - is a beacon of light. Sometimes the light is too harsh, not just on me but towards anyone who doesn't do 'what they ought to'. But she also loves easily, gives a lot more, and is there for you when you need them. 

I am hurting right now, because I saw a major fault in my own definition of Championing of my students. After more than 11 years of being a teacher, I still had not got this simple but empowering realisation because I was so caught up in my own patterns of seeking love from my kids. 

My director, who I fondly call 'Boss-Mamma' is right in pointing out that I will get their love by virtue of who I am and who they are. But earning their respect demands of me to expect my students to respect themselves. The respect that emerges from within when you present high quality work - when you push yourself to do the best you can. When you take the resourcefulness within you, and seek expertise from without - to create things truly representative of who you are as a person. 'Beauty of the soul reveals itself in all expressions,' goes a saying. And since all souls are beautiful - we are all capable of doing great things. 

My students need me to be a champion. Not a mollycoddling softie who accepts shoddy work in pretext of loving them unconditionally - but a Champion who coaches them to be better by pushing them to realise their best selves everyday... a sort of tough-love that demands from them to be stronger, better, and more conscientious for themselves... because for my students to champion the world and heal it, they first need to champion themselves. 


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Location: 144, Sadar Bazar, Ahmedabad, Gujarat 382475, India

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